Are nomikai mandatory?

The bottom line: at most Japanese companies today, mandating attendance at a nomikai is treated as illegal. If attendance after work hours is forced as a work order, it can be considered work time — companies have to be careful.

In practice, however, there are still "hard-to-decline" parties: welcome and farewell parties (kangeikai / sōbetsukai), bōnenkai, shinnenkai, and project wrap-ups. The year-end and new-year period in particular features the staples bōnenkai (literally "forget-the-year party") and shinnenkai (new-year party), held at most workplaces.

2025 trend: According to Job Research's "Bōnenkai Awareness Survey," the 2025 bōnenkai hosting rate was 69.1% and the participation desire rate was 60.1% — back to pre-pandemic levels.

Is "nominication" outdated? — Latest survey results

"Nominication" (a portmanteau of "nomikai" + "communication") was considered the lubricant of office life through the Showa era and early Heisei. But recent surveys show:

  • Over 60% across all generations say "nominication is unnecessary"
  • Top reasons: "having to be careful around others," "costs money," "want to prioritize personal time"
  • However, 71% of those in their 20s want to attend bōnenkai — higher than other age groups

Young employees dislike "nomikai I'm forced into" — but lean strongly into "nomikai that are fun" and "nomikai I can learn from." The picture is one of clear polarization.

Types of nomikai and their frequency

Type When Features
Welcome party (kangeikai) New hires (April / October) Welcome new members, self-introductions
Farewell party (sōbetsukai) Departures, transfers Express thanks to those leaving
Wrap-up (uchiage) After project completion Celebrate results, share appreciation
Bōnenkai December Reflect on the year, show appreciation
Shinnenkai Mid-to-late January Set new-year aspirations, lift spirits
Settai (entertainment) As needed Build client relationships (strong business element)
Department gathering Monthly to every few months Within-team social interaction

"Toriaezu nama!" — the obligatory ritual

A phrase you will almost always hear at a Japanese nomikai: "Toriaezu nama (bīru)" — "Draft beer to start, please." The moment everyone sits down, someone asks "Is everyone OK with draft to start?" If no one objects, draft beer is ordered for the whole table.

This is also a time-saving tactic to avoid delaying the toast. If everyone reads the menu carefully, the toast is delayed and the energy drops. Starting with one drink everyone can share has become the established custom.

Recent change: People who don't drink alcohol — for personal taste, allergies, or religious reasons — are increasingly common. More restaurants and workplaces now go with "everyone gets what they want." Non-drinkers can comfortably say "Oolong tea, please" or "Non-alcoholic beer."

Kamiza and shimoza — the seating rules

Japanese nomikai have unspoken rules about seating order (sekiji).

Basic rule

  • Kamiza: The seat farthest from the entrance. For seniors and those being honored
  • Shimoza: The seat closest to the entrance. For juniors, hosts, and event organizers

Origin: In the past, the seat near the entrance carried the risk of an attacker bursting in, so the lower-ranked person sat there as lookout. The custom is a remnant of that.

Kamiza by location

Place Where the kamiza is
Tatami room (with tokonoma alcove) The seat with its back to the alcove
Western table The window side, far from the entrance
Round table (Chinese restaurant) The seat farthest from the entrance
Izakaya tatami area The deepest seat, against the wall
Car (with chauffeur) Rear seat behind the driver
Car (driven by family / colleague) Front passenger seat
Elevator The back (opposite the control panel)

Junior employee's iron rule: When in doubt, sit near the entrance and you generally won't go wrong.

Oshaku — the etiquette of pouring drinks

Oshaku is the act of pouring a drink into someone else's glass. After the toast, when your senior, boss, or client's glass drops below half, you go to refill it.

When pouring beer

  1. Hold the bottle with both hands — one on the bottom, the other supporting the middle
  2. Face the label up so the recipient can see it
  3. Start with momentum, then slow as you tilt the bottle down
  4. Foam should be about 30% of the glass — that's ideal

Receiving

  • Hold the glass with both hands (right hand on the glass, left hand supporting the bottom)
  • When eyes meet, say "arigatō gozaimasu"
  • Take a sip before placing it back on the table

Oshaku no-gos

  • Don't point the bottle bottom at the recipient — considered rude
  • Don't pour with your hand inverted (called "gyaku-shaku") — bad luck
  • Don't pour for yourself (the culture is to have those around you pour for you)

Modern relaxation: At nomikai centered on younger employees, or at workplaces with many seniors who don't drink much, "everyone pours for themselves" is increasingly common. You don't need to perfectly execute every old etiquette rule.

How to politely decline a nomikai

"Not wanting to go" is a legal personal freedom, but knowing graceful ways to refuse is reassuring.

Situation Recommended phrase
Direct decline "Sorry, I have a prior commitment that day and can't attend"
Health reason "I'm not feeling well — I'll have to skip this time"
Family reason "I have plans with family — definitely next time"
Religious / cultural "I don't drink for religious reasons. I can join just for the meal"

Important perspective: Adding forward-looking words like "definitely next time" or "if there's another opportunity" makes refusal less likely to damage the relationship. Constantly declining can feel isolating, so showing up about once a month strikes a comfortable balance.

Common mistakes foreigners make at nomikai

1. Only watching their own glass and not pouring

Western style is "everyone pours for themselves," but Japanese culture pays attention to others' empty glasses. When your senior or boss's glass drops below half, try saying "Shall I pour you some?"

2. Not serving from shared plates

When large dishes arrive, the unspoken rule is for the youngest people to serve into individual plates. If you're the junior, taking initiative and saying "I'll serve everyone" leaves a great impression.

3. Reluctantly continuing to nijikai

After the izakaya (first round, "ichijikai"), there's a culture of moving on to karaoke or other places (nijikai, sanjikai). It's not rude to decline. Tell them honestly: "I have an early start tomorrow" or "My family is waiting."

4. Forgetting next-morning greetings

The morning after a nomikai, it's customary to say "thank you for last night" (kinō wa arigatō gozaimashita) to those around you when you arrive at work. Especially with the organizer or your boss, taking time to thank them individually makes a great impression and sets up the next event well.

FAQ

Q1. Who pays at a nomikai?

A. Generally warikan (split evenly). However, at bōnenkai, welcome parties, and farewell parties, the boss often pays more, and welcome / farewell honorees may attend free. The fee is usually announced ahead of time by the organizer — confirm with them.

Q2. What if I can't drink alcohol?

A. Order non-alcoholic beer, oolong tea, ginger ale, etc. — no problem. Saying "I don't drink for religious reasons" or "alcohol doesn't agree with my body" stops people from pushing it on you. Forcing alcohol on someone is a recognized social problem called "alhara" (alcohol harassment).

Q3. Are there halal-friendly venues?

A. Major cities (Tokyo, Osaka, etc.) have growing options. "Eat at a halal restaurant individually, then join just for nijikai" is also workable. Talk to the organizer in advance and ask them to consider venue choice.

Q4. If they say "bureikō," can I really act however I want?

A. Absolutely don't take it literally. Even when "bureikō" (literally "no rank") is announced, dropping keigo with your boss or being too casual is dangerous. Don't forget the saying "even close friends need manners."

Q5. Should I send a LINE thank-you after a nomikai?

A. If your boss paid extra or you were treated, sending a LINE or email saying "thank you for last night's meal" makes a great impression. For ordinary warikan parties, a verbal thanks in the morning is enough.

Conclusion — nomikai are "not mandatory, but worth using strategically"

Japanese nomikai culture is changing significantly.

  • Forced attendance is treated as illegal — the right to refuse is established
  • Over 60% say "nominication is unnecessary" — that's the era we're in
  • Yet 20-somethings show 71% bōnenkai participation — clear polarization
  • Knowing manners around kamiza, oshaku, and nijikai still pays off

The modern correct answer: "don't push yourself, but participate strategically." Show up to important welcome / farewell parties and year-end bōnenkai; decline nijikai you don't feel like attending. That balance fits comfortably into modern Japanese workplaces.

References / 参考・出典